This is a story I had written long back as a submission to into a contest/book. It is about love, leaving, and finding love again. Enjoy! Feedback welcome :)
Life after Love
“You have to be
the most beautiful girl in this world,” words laced with honey and sugar, too
cheesy, but hell, Shikha wasn’t complaining. “And your eyes, oh my God, your
eyes…” A deep longing look was visible in his face and Shikha blushed. Her
decision was made then and there. Not 2 weeks later.
Rishabh had been courting her for more than a month now and
had paid her many compliments profusely. Some conventional, some really astute.
She had taken everything till now with a pinch of salt. But that day something
happened. A wall crumbled. Irony is that it happened when he was delivering his
most cheesy lines. But then girls actually go for cheesy, right?
Shikha was not a typical dopey-eyed, bumbling young girl.
She was smart, sassy and practical. She was choosey about the people she hung
out with, even in the college canteen. Through a weird co-incidence, she met a
rather average looking, thin, dark guy, who had absolutely no distinguishing characteristics
about him. Shikha herself is someone who stands out in the crowd, not because
she is the craving-for-attention types, but because of the sheer force of her
personality. Her intelligence and warmth shines through her like a special kind
of light. Rishabh was almost the opposite. His whole being was… hushed, muted.
As an analogy of ‘opposites attract’, these two started to
date. Her friends and roommates thought it was a little unconventional
considering she had met this guy through an Internet friend of hers. It was a
little dangerous even. But Shikha was not someone who can be told what to do,
so when she accepted the Christmas Eve party invitation form Rishabh, no one
bothered to say anything. It was every girl for herself out there. If you can’t
handle it, don’t play the game. Simple.
The evening ended with Rishabh and Shikha in bed together.
Shikha thought this was the culmination of her feelings for Rishabh and was
even having thoughts about ‘being in love’. If this was love, she definitely
wanted to be a part of it. She was happy. Almost deliriously happy.
So much so,
that she didn’t see the bombshell coming. “So, this was fun.”
Rishabh was
saying, “How about we meet again on Thursday and do a repeat?” Shikha turned
towards him. He went on, “You know, there is a friend of mine who has a real
reputation with the ladies, would you like me call him too?”
Shikha snapped to
attention now, “What do you mean call him?” “To join us, of course! Believe me
a threesome is a great way to get initiated.”
Get initiated? Into
what!? “What are you talking about, Rishabh?” Shikha asked.
“About having fun. What we just did, doing with as many
people together or on one-on-one basis. It’s a life of bliss.” Rishabh threw
back his head and smiled, “Let me tell you about this party I went to last
week. There were three girls who had totalled this guy’s very expensive car,
and were making up for it with…”
“Alright, that’s enough!” Shikha just couldn’t believe her
ears, “What makes you think I will join you in something so – so – repulsive?”
“Repulsive? You were enjoying yourself a little too much not
ten minutes back.”
“Yes, but…” How could she say that that was because she had
believed to be in love? Or at least in a relationship based on mutual
attraction. What he was proposing was horrible. How did he get this idea that
she would be interested in something like this?
Rishabh was completely ignorant to all the turmoil going
inside Shikha’s head. He went on, “So Thursday it is then. In the meanwhile,
let’s enjoy a repeat performance.”
“No.” Shikha said quietly. “Not Thursday, not now, not
ever.” She exploded, “You make me sick. I don’t ever want to see you again.
Good bye.” She turned at the door to deliver the coup de grace, “I would of course always wonder as to why you
thought I would be interested in your ‘proposal’. I am not that kind of girl.”
“Is that right? Then what kind of girl are you, Shikha? A
hypocrite? ” Rishabh tone had changed; his usually genial disposition had given
way to something sinister. There was glint in his eyes that forewarned of the impending
menace of his words. He spoke in hushed tones, “You go out with a guy about
whom you know almost nothing, pretend to enjoy the pick-up lines he throws at
you, and sleep with him on the first party you go out. Then you try to tell me
that you are not THAT kind of girl. The way I see it, you are looking for some
serious action and will go with anyone who offers it. So either stop
pretending, or just get out. ”
Shikha was stunned to her very core. So much for her coup de grace! This was the guy she was falling for? Was she such a poor judge of
character? Everything he had said was true, except of course the part where he
accused her of asking for it. Was that true too? How does one decide what to do
in these situations? Shikha decided to be practical and start by planning how
to get to her apartment at 5 o’clock in the morning on the other side of town.
Rishabh went after Shikha again, to convince her to accept his
way of life, but by this time Shikha was livid. She refused. He then came
bullying after her. He told her that if she did not agree to what he says, he
will have the rather sensational evidence of their affair plastered all over
town. Then Shikha got really scared.
One day, Rishabh came to her apartment to threaten her. Her
mom opened the door and a huge confrontation took place. He never came back
again after that. But by now everyone knew of Shikha’s botched affair. No one
said anything to her face, but the furtive glances and judgemental smirk
sitting at everyone’s corner of the mouth said it all. Devastation became an
understatement.
She became scared of love. She went rigid inside and decided
that all this suffering was not worth it. She put all her energy in her career
and rose to an executive position. Inside, she felt hollow. Then, she went into
therapy and took up mediation.
After two years of working on herself, she came
to terms with her experience and realised that her heart had not been damaged.
Only her pride. The people who mattered in her life stood by her and the ones
who ostracized her were no longer in her life.
She began her healing process and slowly, but surely, the
mist that had settled around her like a veil started to lift.
Her shine was
once again visible. And last year, when she met this smart, funny guy through
common friends and he proposed, she said yes. Not because she wanted to escape
into someone’s arms and was looking for a saviour, but because she believed in
love again. This time, love blossomed. Her healing was complete. Her courage
was rewarded.
Being entails allowing things to happen through you, while you stay fully alert, participate in the happening, and yet remain unattached and centred. Sounds like something weird and impossible and terribly spiritually-loaded/New Age-y? Trust me, it’s not. Only when you are open to the idea that even if you are not able to stay on top of everything, your life will go on like a flowing river. Life knows exactly where it is going, your input is not required."
"As I walk to through this doorway
The evening ended with Rishabh and Shikha in bed together.
Shikha thought this was the culmination of her feelings for Rishabh and was
even having thoughts about ‘being in love’. If this was love, she definitely
wanted to be a part of it. She was happy. Almost deliriously happy.
“Is that right? Then what kind of girl are you, Shikha? A
hypocrite? ” Rishabh tone had changed; his usually genial disposition had given
way to something sinister. There was glint in his eyes that forewarned of the impending
menace of his words. He spoke in hushed tones, “You go out with a guy about
whom you know almost nothing, pretend to enjoy the pick-up lines he throws at
you, and sleep with him on the first party you go out. Then you try to tell me
that you are not THAT kind of girl. The way I see it, you are looking for some
serious action and will go with anyone who offers it. So either stop
pretending, or just get out. ”
She became scared of love. She went rigid inside and decided
that all this suffering was not worth it. She put all her energy in her career
and rose to an executive position. Inside, she felt hollow. Then, she went into
therapy and took up mediation.
She began her healing process and slowly, but surely, the
mist that had settled around her like a veil started to lift.
5. Laugh, Dance, Sleep! Get back to the basics! If you are feeling low, try these time honoured ways to lift your spirits and open a new window.Laughing allows to stop thinking and over-thinking, gives your being a break, and gives you the boost of energy to find solutions.
