Past

I have always had problem with the past - because I cannot change it… So many times we have thought, “In a different life, this would have been possible, we would have then had a different present, and maybe even a different future.” So why don’t we? Because we are tied by our past and to our past.


Now, I know that past is not real…that it is just a memory, a story…but then why I do not feel that I have the power to change this story?
We do not have the authority/capacity/power to alter what has already happened. But why do we need it? We need it because we feel we are possessed by it, owned even. 


I bet we all feel helpless in face of our past/pasts - if only this has not happened, that had taken place instead - and so we keep looking back, trying to exorcise shadows that do not exist, but seem oh-so-real.


All that I have understood is that I may not be able to erase or disown my past (anyway it is not possible to do so), but I can certainly drop my attachment to it.


I can choose to not be bound by it.


I can choose to not be affected by it.


You can choose it to be so too.


Today.


Now.


This very moment.


Don’t wait anymore.

Leh Diaries: Milestones - Words of Wisdom at 10,000 ft

So I am just back from a wonderful 1 week holiday in Leh. Needless to say, it was rather wonderful, totally awe-inspiring and taught me new meanings of the words majestic, clam, serene, sheer-drop etc among others. But one thing stood out among all my excursions - the milestones and the words of wisdom printed on them as we went from Leh towards Nubra Valley, Pangong, etc.

One popular "quote" seen all across Leh and beyond:

"Speed is a knife,

that cuts through life"

I am posting some more such delightful Words of Road-side Wisdom, literally cast in stone. Regretfully, I could take snaps of only a few of them.

Sample one such gem:

Now tell me, who can NOT follow this well meaning advise? I mean will you now try to be a Gama (whatever that means) while you in Ladakh? No way! 

And in case, you have become confused or you have not understood that this milestone wisdom is to dissuade you from speeding, here's one that makes it clearer: 

If even this refuses to make sense to you, then you are probably one of those people who cannot take a hint. The BRO (Border Road Organization) is ready for even such dimwits, with clearly spelled out instruction about how to drive on the treacherous mountain roads:

And don't think think that they don't know about our penchant for driving after downing a peg or two, especially in these cold, cold mountains. They are on to it! Ergo, the solemn advise:

Even after all this cautioning, should you still decide to speed, here is a forecast about where you may end up: (yup, you guessed it!)

If you are by any chance not yet convinced, here's another gentle persuasion:

Now how can you speed? Another variation of this that was seen across the roads was: 

"Lower your gear,

Curve is near"

Further requests to avoid speeding include this grammatically confusing advise:

Then we also have some valuable life advise thrown in for good measure:

Now who says only the Lamas are spiritual in Ladakh? Something was bound to rub off.

However the ultimate Words of Road-side Wisdom Award went to this little gem:

 

"Safety on road,
'Safe Tea' at home"









Can one be more convincing?

And here's one other popular one in राष्ट्र भाषा:

"तेरा करते होंगे घरवाले इंतज़ार,

गाडी धीरे चला मेरे यार" 

(Translation: Your family must be waiting for you, drive slowly. )

Their concern for our safety is really heart-warming, if a little amusing. 

Is marriage so important?

I was reading this on buzz, which was forwarded by Preeti and I agree that the idea of 'happily ever after' and "all-your-troubles-will-be-over-if-you-just-get-married" are sold on glossy covers of the magazines who are selling all things bridal. And the worst part is, as long as the so-called society people are sold on this, they will force down this idea on other people. I personally feel the entire media is largely responsible for adding on to the social pressure already exerted by the relatives and apparent well wishers (my definition of well-wishers: people who wish we were at the bottom of a well), for messing with our parents' and other dear one's minds and getting into their head unreasonable expectations off their children.

What if I want to get married in a simple ceremony or in the court? Noooooo. I must have a "dream" wedding with all the over-hyped hoopla. My parents have kept aside lacs (or even crore, I really don't know) money to "marry me off", but refuse to help with a little bit of capital to start a business. So I am now looking at other people to help finance, which is a good thing actually as I am saved a lot of family drama.

Secondly, there are no expectations from the boy - software engineer and earning above 10 lac lpa - that's it! He is God himself! Dare I find a fault in him! Now I am expected become perfect for him - wear sari, well turned out, and of course a far slimmer version of myself. My parents actually give me deadlines to become perfect!! It never works out, that's a different story altogether :D

Recently, my mom asked if Manisha, my friend, mentor and teacher, was doing anything for me. I jokingly told her that she needs to first do things for herself as she is a co-founder of a very good OD Consulting firm. My mom's response was, "What does she have to worry about? She is married and has a child, what more does she need. Her life is set. If she is a true friend of yours, she should look for a suitable match for you." I was speechless! I asked if she had been appointed my guardian or something. To which the reply was more filmy dialogues. Go figure!